…hit the beat now…

Just another WordPress.com weblog

…..fallen from grace….

Posted by treygar on February 9, 2015

every now and then, I get an idea in my head and I decide to run with it until I get lazy….this is one of those ideas….the game is to write a few poems starting each one off with the first line from a song by the Pogues, who have some of the best opening lines out there.

If I Should Fall from Grace with God

If I should fall from grace with God
Please don’t let the devil claim me
Though I’ve cheated and I’ve stole
Well I mean just who could blame me

There was whisky, there were whores
There were many hearts a broken
There were lies that I once told
There were candy bars I’ve stolen

There was that one time
That I turned my back on God above
And the time I traded pride
All in the name of love

Set me free, kids
Let me be, kids
Bury me without a word
In an unmarked grave

If I should fall from grace with God
Let me walk the world for ages
Just as Judas did before
I’ve 30 dollars left in wages

I hold the money round my neck
As punishment, not in my pocket
It would take a solid forty days
To list the sins on my docket

I don’t know where anyone
Would even begin to forgive me
Will the ending be as sad
As it was in the beginning?

Set me free, kids
Pray for me, kids
Light a candle for my soul
As the flames take me away.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »

….music sounds better with you….

Posted by treygar on January 7, 2015

Here is my long delayed best songs of 2014 list, as well as my buddy T.J.’s list.  We did the same thing mid year.  You may see some songs have moved up and/or down as the year progressed when stacked up to newer songs on both of our lists. Such a great year in music and this is just our personal top 50 but there are another 50 songs or more that could have easily been in their place. As always, my one rule is to limit it to only one song per artist, if I had not had done that there would only have been room for a few songs after putting in all of the Nick Jonas and Taylor Swift songs.  T.J. does not have that rule as you will soon see.

Some notes from looking at T.J.’s list (which I just opened this morning) and mine is that we only have five of the same songs.
– I have Future Islands at 49 he has them at 31
– I have Red Eyes by War on Drugs at 18 he has it at 22 (our closest ranking)
– I have Perfume Genius at 8 he has it at 20
– I have Homeboy Sandman at 23 he has him at 16
– I have Jessie Ware at 5 he has her at 12

A few from his list almost made my list, Lana and Fatima and Jessica Lea Mayfield being ones jest left off of my list.

Most of these songs are on Spotify to listen to or Youtube to watch their videos or you can purchase at iTunes or Amazon or do something crazy and find them at a record store.  Do enjoy.

Here is T.J.’s list – from 1 to 50:

  1. “Hudsonville, MI 1956” – La Dispute

I found myself coming back to this song time and time and time again. For the gut wrenching story. For the nostalgia vibe. For workout jams. For blowing off steam. For growing a pair. For making me fucking love guitars again. The volume got louder each time it came up. It wasn’t love that I felt for this song. It was brotherhood. And family always comes first.

  1. “Chandelier” – Sia

Sia turns her back to the audience when she performs and I still fell in love with her. That’s probably exactly why I fell in love. Not just because I like weird chicks, but because her voice alone pierced my heart more than any other this year. When I hear this song, I envision an entire musical about drunk girls making horrible decisions. I even have the choreography down and everything.

  1. “New Romantics” – Taylor Swift

Even though Tay broke my heart leaving Spotify, I was able to steal her CD from my 13 year old daughter, who is actually the one that hipped me to this song. A bonus track not even on the main album and it slays nearly everything else out this year. Even Taylor’s bonus tracks are better than your singles. GTFO.

  1. “Bored in the USA” – Father John Misty

The best musical of the year as FJM crowns himself the true heir of Randy Newman and Harry Nilsson.

  1. “Never Catch Me” – Flying Lotus/Kendrick Lamar

King Kendrick with Flying Lotus beats? Yes, please. The dancing kids in the video made me love it even more.

  1. “Lost In The Dream” – The War On Drugs

This is a placeholder for what I really wanted to write here which is “Lost in the Dream, the album” as my #6 pick. To me, the whole damn thing is one big rock symphony. It’s like going to your buddy Ethan’s smokey house with the band equipment set up in the living room. You drink half a bottle of vodka, smoke a few puffs, sit on their 1970s couch and listen to them play. You’re not sure where one song ends and another begins. All you know is that no numbness has ever made you feel this way.

  1. “Habits (Stay High) – Tove Lo

My kids sing this song “Gotta stay high-dryated all the time.” It’s like a companion piece to Chandelier and another part of the Pop musical I play in my head.

  1. “Love Again (Akinyele Back)” Run the Jewels w/Gangsta Boo

On the surface, this song sounds like RTJ’s recussitation of sex raps. The chorus “dick in her mouth all day” might initially set your feminism alarm off, but closer examination reveals a flip to the standard. The men are reminiscing about old loves, women they respected and miss. Gangsta Boo makes it clear when she brings it home in the 3rd verse. “I’ve got this fool in love again.”

  1. “Silver” – Caribou

Moody nighttime driving song of the year.

  1. “Motion Sickness” – Shabazz Palaces

Shabazz Palaces are like the Swans of rap. You love them but they also scare the shit out of you. Which makes you love them more.

  1. “Flawless Remix” – Beyonce/Nicki Minaj

The original version sounds like an art piece. The remix a high class strip club jam. Queen B reigns them all. “Of course shits gonna go down when there’s a billion dollars on an elevator.”

  1. “Tough Love,” “Sweetest Song,” “Pieces” – Jessie Ware

One cannot listen to just one Jessie Ware song. A trio of pop ballad brilliance is needed. Jessie says it best herself: “I could hear this song forever.”

  1. “Hollow” – Alex G

Bedroom mope of the year.

  1. “Higher” – SBTRKT/Raury

This is exactly how I rap to myself in the car only it’s about 85% gibberish.

  1. “i” – Kendrick Lamar

Kendrick didn’t drop an album this year. He did a lot of features then dropped this one solo single. One letter. He didn’t even bother to capitalize it. Long live the king.

  1. “Problems” – Homeboy Sandman

Ennui rap flow of the year.

  1. “Pains” – Silk Rhodes

The Impossibly Cool song of the year.

  1. “Lawman” – Girl Band

Fistfight song of the year.

  1. “Blue Suede” – Vince Staples

The intersection of Kendrick Lamar and Shabazz Palaces. Could’ve easily put the entire Hell Can Wait EP on this list.

  1. “No Good,” “Queen” – Perfume Genius

I couldn’t pick just one Perfume Genius song either and you really need to listen to both of these to grasp the scope of PG’s extraordinary album of pain and empowerment.

  1. “Hard Time” – Seinabo Sey

The “why didn’t anybody use this in a movie trailer” song of the year? This thing at least has HBO promo written all over it.

  1. “Red Eyes” – The War on Drugs

Only because I was too chicken shit to include the entire album as one song, I had to throw another one on here.

  1. “Continental Shelf” – Viet Cong

If I made a fanfiction Lost Boys soundtrack, this song would be the lead track.

  1. “Mashed Potato Baby” – Franky Flowers

I don’t know if there is a video for this song nor do I want to know because the one in my head is much better. I’m at Guthrie Green during Food Truck Wednesday and the entire video is super slow motion shots of me eating one of everything from Lone Wolf as beautiful people walk past and stare.

  1. “Childs Play” – SZA, Chance the Rapper

The sexiest song you will ever ever find about video games. Chance the Rapper’s W.C. Fields impression almost made this shit number one.

  1. “Fun Gun” – Mike Simmons

Is that a guitar solo? Yes it is and it’s fucking beautiful. Makes me long for summer, this one.

  1. “Jerk Ribs (Mount Kimbie Remix)” – Kelis

Whether it’s milkshakes or jerk ribs, fear not, Kelis. I am coming to the goddamned yard!

  1. “Uncast Shadow Of A Southern Myth” – Parquet Courts

The “I need to listen to my Dead Milkmen tapes” song of the year.

  1. “Turtles All the Way Down” – Sturgill Simpson

Country’s sole acid king sings the blues.

  1. “Talk is Cheap” – Chet Faker

“I’m gonna make you move with confidence. Then I’m gonna get you so pregnant.”

  1. “Seasons (Waiting On You)” – Future Islands

As if this song wasn’t great enough, dude had to go on Letterman and show us what it would look like if instead of screaming “Stella!!!” like a chump, Stanley Kowalski said “fuck it” and started a pop rock band.

  1. “Go” – Grimes/Blood Diamonds

Emo Queen goes full pop and saddos everywhere wept. I fell more in love and vow to take my photo by the Grimes Elementary sign and send it to her.

  1. “Johnny And Mary” – Todd Terje/Bryan Ferry

Bryan Ferry still gots it.

  1. “Sometimes” – Oscar

Whenever I need to transport back to 1997 and remind myself to chill the hell out and have fun. With a dash of “whatever.”

  1. “Her” – Majid Jordan

It can’t be a coincidence that his initials are M.J. because Jacko’s influence is all over this track that’s begging to be your #1 late night make-out jam.

  1. “I’m Not Part of Me” – Cloud Nothings

Go ahead and pretend this is the Foo Fighters playing Cain’s Ballroom in 1997. You can even hear a little 80s Replacements creeping in. Musical time machine song of the year.

  1. “American Beauty” – Girlpool

Lyric: “It’s not enough to watch a movie, eat me out to American Beauty.” Yep, it’s the “sounds like my last date” song of the year.

  1. “Castaway” – Curtis Harding

Soul music, son. Soul music.

  1. “La Neta” – Fatima

An auditory melting-pot of soulful girl group influences from various decades and yet completely contemporary. The Lauryn Hill of an alternative universe.

  1. “High” – Freddie Gibbs, Madlib, Danny Brown

The Chronic 2014 starring three of modern hip-hops best.

  1. “Overcoming Me” – Christopher Owens

Christopher Owens channels Buddy Holly and holy shit am I about to go through a 50s rock phase?

  1. “The Greatest” (Cat Power Cover) – Halls

Cold. Sad. Haunting. Some serious winter shit. #CoverSongMonday song of the year.

  1. “West Coast” – Lana Del Rey

“Me, Lana? I’ve got the music in me?” Yes, yes I do. Now hold me and let’s look pretty crying together.

  1. “Want Remover” – Protomartyr

Channels the same vibe that made the Rolling Stones beloved in the 60s. That’s the 1960s not the Rolling Stones of their 60s which was in like the 90s.

  1. “Oblivious” – Jessica Lea Mayfield

My air guitar jam of the year. Moody. Sexy. And seriously that little guitar riff during the first :20 seconds will STILL NOT get out of my head.

  1. “Love on the Run” – Blitz the Ambassador, Nneka

If Chappelle’s Show was still on this is the kind of musical guest he would have on the show. Got that great Common/Kanye/Chicago/early Erykah vibe.

  1. “0 To 100 / The Catch Up” – Drake

Drake gets so much shit on the internet even my kids think Drake jokes are funny. But when this song comes on they get really uncomfortable and ask me to change it. Also, pretty sure Drake is the only one still making Forrest Gump references.

  1. “Insane Parties” – Radstewart

This loud-quiet-loud track is worth it just for the lyric, “if you go out and get drunk in a Native American headdress, then you’re a cunt. I don’t care if you’re ⅛ or what.”

  1. “Let My Baby Stay” – Mac Demarco

The track just screams “solo Lennon” to me which is all I needed to give it endless spins this year.

  1. “I Love You But I’m Lost” – Sharon Van Etten

Because all lists should end in tears.

And here is my list, 50 to 1:

50. Shakira and Rihanna – Can’t Remember to Forget You – you would think that the combination of two heavyweights like Shakira and Rihanna would have set the world on fire. Although this is a great song, it is a little too by the book dance standard with not much message behind it. Fun song though.
49. Future Islands – Seasons (Waiting on You) – I will be the first to admit that I discovered Future Islands a few years before everyone got into them. You can find an image of me front row at their set at Fun Fun Fest 2011 on RollingStone.com I had their song from their previous album On the Water ‘Give Us the Wind’ very highly ranked a few years back. That song was epic. This song is great as well but what put them on the map this year more than their great songwriting was their even greater live shows.

48. DJ Snake/Lil Jon – Turn Down for What – this is just a fun song and is as instant a dance hit as there could ever possibly be. In fact, if you don’t start cutting a rug when this song comes on you should leave the planet.

47. Neon Trees – Sleeping With a Friend – Neon Trees are to me as consistent a band out there. Each album is good for 1-2 solid hit songs, and all of their hit songs are unique from one another, so they are diverse and evolving. Lets face it, this song is relatable, we’ve all been in that spot where we’re attracted to one of our friend’s friends.

46. Future – Honest – I like Future’s songs of rap success and excess. ‘I got bitches kissing on bitches I’m just being honest / I’m a rock star for life I’m just being honest..’ – this song makes me want to be a rock star if all the luxuries that Honest speaks about come with it. Granted they probably don’t but it makes for a fun song.

45. Nico and Vinz – Am I Wrong – another great pop song from this year. I think the message in pop music this year was to be yourself and say what you feel and this song with a dancehall reggae vibe is a good example of that. I heard an acoustic version of this once while driving around and they do a great version when they strip down this song as well.

44. Lykke Li – No Rest For the Wicked – really loved Lykke’s new album this year. The problem with her is that all her songs are equally awesome to the point that none stand out. This was my favorite from this album but there are two or three others that are just a hair behind, like Love Me Like I’m Not Made of Stone, for instance. I think she got her groove back on this album.

43. Lone – 2 is 8 – now if you know me you know I love my songs to have lyrics, so that I am putting a few musical numbers on my list this year means that these songs have grooves so infectious, they are just as good as any song with those emotional lyrics I love so much. This song makes me want to roller skate or something.

42. Beverly – You Can’t Get It Right – another trend I noticed this year was surfer pop punk songs by female led bands, this is the first of a few on the list. It is like Joan Jett meets Lettes to Cleo or Juliana Hatfield on this one.

41. clipping – Body and Blood – this song is dark, and evil, and industrial. The video is haunting. clipping could be the group to take over from Death Grips except it looks like Death Grips are coming back so both bands will just have to continue making kickass music and the world will be a better place.

40. Jennifer Lopez – I Luh Ya Papi – I know this may be the point where my list loses all credibility but this song is really a good dance song and the video that goes with it objectifies men so if anything it is a song about equality. If a girl ever dedicated this song to me on dedication night on a pop station I’d love her forever.

39. One Direction – Clouds – I know that this may really be the point where my list loses all credibility but…..One Direction are on a roll. Four albums in four years each one growing their sound and ability. Going by recording and live performances, they are the hardest working band in the business for the past five years. This song breaks from their standard bubble gum pop and is an attempt at an arena rock sing a long, much like a few tracks were from their previous album Midnight Memories.

38. The New Pornographers – War on the East Coast – this is a great retro sounding song by this all star band that has other bands at a disadvantage. I guess that is why I can’t rate this song higher because really every member of this band is exceptional and could (or does) lead their own band.

37. Hospitality – I Miss Your Bones – another great rocker girl track. The rapid fire vocal delivery on the main verses that go along with the drum and guitar riff work exceptionally well together.

36. Mitski – Townie – this is a fun song with a lot of distortion sung by a girl just searching for a fun night out with boys while sneaking out the window. ‘I want a love that falls as fast as a body from the balcony’. Mitski reminds me of Guyville era Liz Phair which is never a bad thing.

35. Popcaan – Everything Nice – definintely the best reggae-ish song of the year. It has a natural flow to it that makes one want to just find a beach somewhere and dance and drink and love life.

34. Todd Terje – Inspector Norse – this makes TWO songs with no lyrics on my top songs of the year list, which is entirely surprising to me. Basically all you have to do is take this song to a nightclub, turn it way the fuck up, and voila – instant dance party. Song is nearly 7 minutes long and the party on it never stops. Ever.

33. Panda Bear – Mr Noah – it takes over a minute before this song kicks in, but when it does it is a great noisy electronic song that grows on you. I don’t like Animal Collective too much, but when them or one of their solo members or affiliates make a good song, they make a killer song and that is what this one is. This song is made by hipsters, for hipsters, but us regular folk can enjoy it too.

32. YACHT – Terminal Beach – new wave dance party all the way on this one. You like some Pleasure Victim Berlin or some Missing Persons then this is the song for you. YACHT is amazing live so if you ever get the chance be sure to check them out.

31. Dum Dum Girls – Trouble Is My Name – I can never get enough of the chilled out beach rock that the Dum Dum Girls bring on every release. This is such a smooth song it feels like you are listening to the sisters of the Beach Boys.

30. Katy Perry – Birthday – this could’ve gone on last year’s list as well but the single was released this year (same goes for a few other songs on this list). To me this song has a Sheila E vibe in the verses and you have to love the sexual innuendos all over the place.

29. Claire London – Do Dark Things – I found this artist a very weird way, a friend of mine does photography in NYC and did a shoot for Claire a few years ago. I gave her a listen and really dug her but figured she had given up on music. Flash forward a few years and ran across this song online one time and was amazed again. This is a powerful pop song and I like it as the girl is exerting her control, a common theme this year in music was powerful women singing powerful songs and I think we have the Spice Girls to thank for all this.

28. Jason Derulo – Trumpets – This song is silly but so catchy you can’t help but jump around the room when the trumpets kick in. ‘Is it weird that your bra, reminds me of a Katy Perry song’ may be one of the most ridiculous lyrics ever recorded but it works in this song, somehow.

27. Coldplay – Magic – yep you are reading my list right. Mother fucking Coldplay. This song is smooth, it reminds me a bit of Dave Mathews Band epic song Stolen Away with its beat. A great love song from a band that knows the formula for success and exploits it. Bonus points to the lead singer for Coldplay for making my girl Gwyneth Paltrow available again.

26. Johnny Marr – Easy Money – yep you are reading my list right. Even though Morrissey released an album this year, it is Johnny Marr listing on my top 50 and not Mozz. Did not feel Mozz’s album. Much like Marr’s previous album, his new release is some of the best stuff he has done since those golden years known as The Smiths.

25. Bleachers – I Wanna Get Better – Jack Antonoff of fun. and also known as the guy that dates Lena Dunham made the great indie rock anthem of the year in this song. Much like a lot of songs on this list, I’m loving the use of keyboards/piano on songs this year. This song makes me feel hopeful and should I say it, better?

24. Ryn Weaver – OctaHate – this is the type of song that Ariana Grande could only dream of making. It is a r&b/pop/girl power song that has a powerful hook and strong vocals.

23. Homeboy Sandman – Problems – my buddy TJ posted this song and I fell in love instantly. The piano loop on this song drags me in, but the rhymes delivered so smooth and sarcastically make you want to play the song over and over. Also, it directly/indirectly takes a dig at hipsters in one lyric which is always fun.

22. Chrissie Hynde – Dark Sunglasses – little known fact, Chrissie Hynde released her first ever solo album this year. Some really good songs on the album and this first single off of it is a smooth rock song. If you dig this check out the rest of the album I love it.

21. Fever High – That’s So Typical – I heavily promoted this song in my mid year list and still have not fallen out of love with it. The best song released since the 80’s that should have been released in the 80’s.

20. Alex Dezen – Hellp – I will never figure out why more people do not like The Damnwells, Alex’s band. His songwriting is spot on, and in this song you can feel the desperation as he shouts the chorus. Soulful, heartbreaking.

19. MKTO – Classic – this is just a great pop song and I like how it references other pop songs. If I was a younger lad this is the kind of song I would quote when trying to pick up a young girl. The opening line is just great ‘oh girl you’re shining/like a 5th avenue diamond’ so yeah I’m totally dropping that on some poor unsuspecting girl one day.

18. The War on Drugs – Red Eyes – this band got lots of acclaim this year but this is perhaps the only song of theirs that I really got into. It is an American rock song through and through that is on par with some Springsteen and Petty.

17. Against Me! – Transgender Dysphoria Blues – this song just rocks, if you don’t listen to the lyrics you would rock out to it as if it was the Sex Pistols. What is important about this song though is that it talks of the struggle of a transgender person, without feeling too sorry for the singer of Against Me! who has gone through a lot of criticism during her transgender coming of age. Also, it is a love song, so it hits on all angles.

16. Jenny Lewis – She’s Not Me – ahhh, the jilted girlfriend song of the year. ‘all those times we were making love / I never thought we’d be breaking up / bet you tell her I’m crazy’. This song has a bit of a twist after the first two verses sound like the guy did her wrong and found an easier prettier girl. Listen for yourself I ain’t gonna spoil it.

15. Shamir – I Know It’s a Good Thing – Man the voice on Shamir is just amazing. This song has some retro piano disco vibe musically that makes you wonder if this is something that is a descendant of Donna Summer or Andrea True Connection or Steve Wonder himself.

14. Ought – Habit – the stream of conscious lyrics on top of a Pavement type old school indie rock score really hits home. I take it as the story of a dude when he starts getting into someone and the feeling he feels and wanders if she feels it too.

13. Chumped – Hot 97 Summer Jam – more girlie punk rock. Another summertime surf punk song from a girls point of view waiting for her summer dude to come take her into his arms. This is like a guitar driven sequel to Steal My Sunshine.

12. Nick Jonas – Jealous – ‘I don’t like the way he’s looking at you’ this start songs off. A great chorus this is as ultimate a pop song as one can create. I also like how deep down it is a manly song. Hear me out, who hasn’t had their girl looking hot out in public and noticed other dudes staring her down and not gotten the smallest bit of possessive jealousy flared up? And the girl in this song, I mean wow ‘you’re too sexy, beautiful, everybody wants a taste’ that sounds like as smoking a girl out there.

11. Chromeo – Jealous (I Ain’t With It) – the better of the two songs about male jealousy. This song is more danceable than Jonas’ song on the same subject so it gets the nod. Dance party all over this one as you can feel some Dirty Mind Prince era beats on this joint here.

10. St. Vincent – Digital Witness – I’m digging the use of horns on songs these days and yeah this song has horns that get inside your soul. St. Vincent consistently puts out great songs on a yearly basis and this track is perhaps her most radio friendly so I’m sad that it is not on mainstream radio.

9. Saintseneca – Happy Alone – this song delivers one of my favorite lines of the year ‘to presuppose this precipice / could be climbed by any one of us / that was my misjudgement / I guess I best just shut up and face that / I’ll be alone’ – a great song about being alone, but being alone in ones happiness. In other words, my theme song.

8. Perfume Genius – Queen – just one of the best glam rock songs ever written. If you like T Rex, Roxy Music, Dory era Bowie, Jobriath era Jobriath, you will bow down to this song. If you don’t like any of that, you’ll still fucking love this song!!!

7. Blake Mills – Don’t Tell Our Friends About Me – a rare country song on my list, but this song is a great song about a guy not wanting his girl to tell their mutual friends about how bad he’s treated her, going as far to admitting that he physically abused her. So yeah, way more emotionally jolting than standard red solo cup country fare.

6. QT – Hey QT – every now and then I fall in love with a song that I shouldn’t it, this year, this is that song. It is labelled as PC Music, whatever that is. It is a dance track, it is K pop or J pop or Chipmunk pop. Whatever it is, it is brilliant and I wish I was this girl’s cutie.

5. Jessie Ware – Tough Love – Jessie made the album of the year for me, so it was hard to put this song at just the five spot but I think it is because there are some other songs on the album just as good. Her voice is hypnotic, the beats are pulsating, and the lyrics of yearning and regret and forgiveness are resonating. ‘you have me crying out, crying out, for more….’

4. Ingrid Michaelson – Girls Chase Boys – one of my top songs from the first half of the year and I still cannot get enough of it. Just an ultimate pop song about the fact that relationships come and go and we shouldn’t ‘make it harder than it has to be’ when your heart is eventually broken.

3. How to Dress Well – Words I Don’t Remember – ‘you know that I love you baby’ this song starts off, in some soulful Maxwell-ish vibe. Though vague, I take it as a love song, and all love songs should be vague, so yeah. This song also has a great finale that the beat builds to. The beats upon beats coupled with the soulfulness sining of this song really make it a complete song in my opinion and it was the top song for me at mid year point and was only beat out by two songs the latter half of the year.

2. Taylor Swift – Shake It Off – was there ever any doubt that this would be one of my top tracks? Just like its Shake It Off predecessor by Mariah Carey, Taylor delivers a song about being yourself and not worrying about what haters are saying. In this age where your every move is caught on facebook or twitter or snapchat or tinder or youtube, the ability to still be yourself and not compromise that is something that needs to be promoted more often, and Taylor does this at every opportunity.

1. Hozier – Take Me to Church – Every now and then, there is a song that is made that is so great you realize on the first listen that it will stand the test of time. That is what this song is. It is about humanity, about love, about religion, about acceptance, about the lack of all these things. I was at a bar one time and Losing My Religion came on and this one guy I barely knew that was sitting at the table told me that it took many years, but he finally gets what Losing My Religion was about, I can see myself listening to Take Me to Church 20 years from now and saying the same thing. The song has metaphor after metaphor and you wonder what girl or situation evoked the kind of emotion that Hozer put into music and verse, and you wish that one day you can feel that kind of passion too.

thanks for reading and please list any comments or cheapshots or your own favorite songs below.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »

….radio nowhere….

Posted by treygar on January 4, 2015

2014 was not a complete disaster. I took a great transfer opportunity to Pittsburgh, leaving behind a large group of friends and femme fatales I had gathered in Tulsa. The job has been great and am learning so much that will help me further my career with the company. I am getting to see my son twice as much as I used to see him, so that is great. Other highlights include getting my MBA and finishing a quirky little novella during November’s National Novel Writing Month. Though I have yet to find the big haired Italian girl of my dreams up here, I’m in no rush.
As some may know, my good friend Carrie and myself have been doing resolutions since the mid-90’s. We used to write them to one another when she was in college and I was in the Navy, and I’m going to find some of the old ones I have on paper boxed away somewheres and share them sporadically. First up, a recap of our last year’s resolutions and then a listing of our ones for 2015.

Trey’s 2014 resolutions:
– Leave Tulsa. This happened. Though it was all but certain it wasn’t a guarantee, and I never thought I’d say this but I miss Tulsa.
– Read 10 books, going for a low number as I do have a busy first quarter of the year. I finished six, so a little short of goal.
– Once school is done, focus on writing more along with the reading mentioned above. Did not write as much as I would have liked though November’s book really was a fun project that I’m glad I completed.
– Take my son on a killer trip, maybe the Disney cruise, or maybe a video game or gaming convention since he is really into that. Didn’t do anything major, we went all over Pittsburgh and went to all sorts of conventions and Pokemon tournaments, which he is really into, end of day we did what he wanted but I have hope I can talk him into a fun adventure one day.
– Go to a ballgame with my Dad. Didn’t happen, couldn’t talk the old man into flying up here.
– Spend some time with my brother, more than likely listening to Danzig songs and drinking beer. Didn’t happen either, our schedules never lined up.
– Give the best presentation at my capstone final en route to getting my MBA. I rocked my presentation so yeah I call this one a win.
– Lose 30 pounds by June 1st. No.
– Record a cover version of Chloe Dancer/Crown of Thorns. Sadly no, though that is probably a good thing for the rest of your ears.
– Travel out of the country, even if it is just going as far as Canada or Mexico. Nope.
– Spoiler: contribute to a Music Appreciation forum to the best of my ability. Just accepted the role of contributor to such a site this very day. I did what I could with this site, but me and the other admins sort of let this site die.
– Discover old classic and foreign movies that I haven’t seen before. No, I just kept on watching The Cutting Edge over and over….oh boy….
– Begin to adjunct teach in the fall at any community/junior college or university that will give me the opportunity. No, never got settled enough with work to get the time to do this.
– Find a rich girl that will pay my college loans. No.
– Watch that damned Breaking Bad TV show. Watched parts of it but lost interest. So yeah I watched it but was not impressed.
– Go to a rocking music festival that I haven’t been to yet. Nope. Best show highlights of the year for me were Judas Priest and Ingrid Michaelson.
– Find a way to outdo myself on Christmas cards, which may very well be impossible. I have failed everyone, did not to my cards this year.
– Last, and certainly not least, stop falling for and hanging out with ratchet girls I don’t even know how to answer this one.

Carrie’s 2014 Recap:

1) start marathon training now, so I can have training for an entire year. start at 3 miles for 5 weeks, then up it one mile, stay for three weeks, then up it one mile, etc until at 8 miles, then kick in with traditional training
nope failed at that and traditional training hasn’t gone so well either. the marathon is going to suck but i think i can make it to the finish line before time runs out.
2) more yoga – i’d like to do yoga every other day. need to figure out how to make that happen
no, did good for about two months then stopped
3) weight train twice a week – most of the year then it got weird after i moved in sept
4) lose 12 pounds –
i lost ten, i’m concluding this to be successful
5)eat healthy, get back to following a modified (1-2 servings of dairy, not 3, ,all grains whole grains, 2-3 servings of grains not
i’m considering this a success, even though i didn’t start it until june and it has been derailed the past two months, but i’ve done it and will get back to it
6) finish chupcabra screenplay, finish rough draft of a new screenplay
7) revisit Yan-San, learn 100 new Japanese vocabulary words
FAIL- i hadn’t even looked at yan san
8) break out the bagpipes
9) make my own pita bread
NO- I had planned on going to my mom’s today to make the pita bread. getting sick derailed that. guess i shouldn’t have waited until the last minute
10) manage my time better – make a schedule, stick with it, no internet until first block of writing done
since i worked most of the year, this didn’t apply too much. i had done somewhat better with my time than i have in the past.
11) finish the herb alpert music video
i had forgotten i put this one on the list!
12) hang my paintings
yes and I did it in january! then i moved and most of them are hung now.
13)win the lottery
NO but i’ve got one more chance tomorrow!
14) try mappo tofu
YES- tried it twice even, once at heights asian cafe, where it was awful and once at mala shizchuan bistro where it was amazing

Carrie’s 2015 Resolutions:

Lose 5 pounds and don’t gain any, haha
Get back to the Fuhrman way of eating
Be consistent with boot camp
Return to yoga – 3x a week
Do hula dvd – 3 times a week
stick with my running post marathon, 9 milers

take a vacation with jim (well the jim part is a given)
try Banana Leaf, the Malaysian restaurant
cook minimum 5 dishes from Turkish cookbook
make pita bread
Create a short, 3-5 minute, documentary
two yan san lessons a week, can do more if have time
train the parakeets
revamp wardrobe

organize studio
organize pantry
organize kitchen
organize back room
come up with plan for remodel and storage
plant a garden

WORK/career building
find a part time job
finish Alamo screenplay
finish chupacabra
Sorry I didn’t get these out sooner but the hotel I was at had horrible wifi….

Trey’s 2015 resolutions:
1) edit and revamp the novel that I write in November. I already have some test readers for it and there are parts I’d like to axe/delete/redo/expand upon. I’d like to have this done by the end of April. Not trying to publish or anything for profit, this is my free gift for the world to read. You can all pay for the next one.

2) write and submit either a script or short story or longish poem to a magazine or journal or studio or something. When I watch a majority of television I realize that I can write just as poorly as say, any episode of The Good Wife, so why not me.

3) while in England (which is 98% planned so going to England would be too easy a resolution to make) I want to do two things while on a pub crawl with my brother-in-law. 1) make out with a random British chick. 2) either sing at karaoke or lead a pub sing along to The Pogue’s ‘Fairytale of New York’.

4) lose 50 pounds by the time I leave for England…..mainly to fit into an airplane seat better.

5) find a super sexy date for my buddy Corey’s wedding in Tulsa at the end of August. Ladies, I am taking applications now.

6) talk to older/aging friends and relatives more. Time runs out for each of us I don’t want to have any ‘I wish I would’ve talked to him/her more’ type of regrets haunting me.

7) get a celebrity to give me a shout out on Twitter.

8) take road trips to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Niagara Falls.

9) play the lotto at least once a month and may the odds be ever in my favor.  I don’t want to do this so I can live a life of cocaine and hookers, I just want to pay off my college loans quicker.

10) keep feeling fascination.

Feel free to post any of your comments or resolutions below, and as always, nothing matters when we’re dancing.

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

T.G. and T.J.’s top songs of 2014 so far….

Posted by treygar on July 1, 2014

It is exactly the mid-year point of 2014….sorta….I mean, six months have gone by and as our beloved Morrissey once quipped, “…six months is a long time…” As it is, this year has given us a lot of great music, so the challenge to fellow music connoisseur T.J. was to put out a list of each of our favorite songs of 2014 thus far. We were going to do only 10 a piece but T.J. just could not pare it down any further which only means he is going to have hell to pay when the rest of this year’s releases start pouring in the remainder of the year. Feel free to comment, posting what your favorites are, and hopefully you find something on this list that you have forgotten or are finding and will be jamming out all night like I know I will be.

Here is T.J.’s list, I thought that we would have 1-3 songs in common so am entirely surprised that we have 0 songs in common on our Top 15 lists….this really points out to how diverse a year it has been and that there is plenty of music out there to suit everyone’s tastes.


Chet Faker – “Talk is Cheap”
His stage name is a nod not only in name but also in sexiness to the great Chet Baker. This song about working out our differences in non-verbal ways is the best “doin’ it” jam of 2014.

Drive-By Truckers – “Hanging On”
Nothing innovative or groundbreaking here, just an honest folk song that hits me right in my goddam gut and sounds like it was written solely for me.

Fatima – “La Neta”
Fuck PBR & B. Hipsters CANNOT steal soul music. Fatima, a London Swede, keeps it safe and shows us the way we can keep soul music alive in 2014.

Jessica Lea Mayfield – “Oblivious”
My air guitar jam of the year. Moody. Sexy. And seriously that little guitar riff during the first :20 seconds will NOT get out of my head.

John Fullbright – “Very First Time”
Fellow Okie channels a bit of Tom Waits-ian balladry and delivers another tune that hits me square in the heart and tear ducts.

Jungle – “Busy Earnin’”
If Jungle doesn’t blow the hell up when their LP drops in July then this world is bullshit. They’ve released about four singles so far and ALL of them are dope. Think TV on the Radio meets The Bee Gees.

La Dispute – “Hudsonville, MI 1956”
Because sometimes you need some good-ass post-punk in your life. This is from the best concept album of the year, too. Peep this description from Rock Genius:

The song opens the album and basically narrates the terrible tornado tempest that ravaged Hudsonville, MI, on April 3, 1956. The album as a whole recounts the story of a married couple through moments they’ve lived and shared and the rooms of the house they’ve lived in, from the love of the first years to the slow and relentless decay of their passion. Here, they’ve recently married; the woman with their kid travels to Indiana to visit her family, while the husband stays in Hudsonville where he has to work. The tempest comes, and they both have to hide in the basements of the houses, not knowing what has become of each other. (link: http://rock.rapgenius.com/La-dispute-hudsonville-mi-1956-lyrics)

OBN IIIs – “Uncle Powderbag”
Welcome to your Van Halen revival. I don’t even like Van Halen but gotta admit this song is fun as hell and the most ROCK rock song I’ve heard in years.

Oscar – “Sometimes”
Speaking of revivals, the 90s are alive and well in current music. Some of it crap and some of it super quirky and infectious. This is like a piece of bubble gum that has stayed fresh and gooey for the last 20 years.

Shabazz Palaces – “They Come in Gold”
And speaking of the 90s, who knew an evolution of Digable Planets would be the most forward-thinking hip-hop around? (Answer: Anyone who worshipped Blowout Comb in 1994)

Sturgill Simpson – “Turtles All The Way Down”
What’s that you say? You hate new country and it’s the worst shit around? Let Sturgill Simpson give you the proverbial STFU finger. Sure, the first verse mentions Jesus, the devil, God, getting old, and cheating. Standard country themes, right? But the second verse brings this gem and shows it ain’t just your granny’s Haggard throw-back: “There’s a gateway in our mind that leads somewhere out there beyond this plane / Where reptile aliens made of light cut you open and pull out all your pain.”

SZA & Chance the Rapper – “Childs Play”
Just SZA and Chance the Rapper making Beyonce and Jay-Z look about as hip as Captain and Tennille. This is the sound of a torch being passed.

Todd Terje & Bryan Ferry – “Johnny And Mary”
My Roxy Music soft spot is in full effect with this pick.

Tunde Olaniran & James Linck – “The Internet”
The future of hip-hop might rest in the hands of an androgynous guy from Michigan. In other words, this statewide Manager of Outreach for Planned Parenthood could very well be the new Iggy Pop.

Tune-Yards – “Real Thing”
Like all great songs, this fantastic anthem about brains-over-beauty just sounds better and better the louder you turn it up.

Thanks for sharing T.J., appreciate the collaboration.  Here is my list, thanks for listening everyone.

DJ Snake and Lil Jon – “Turn Down For What”
This song has taken over Rick Ross’ ‘Hustlin’ as the song I think is playing every time I open the door and strut into a room.  And it is playing, but sadly only in my head.

Alex Dezen – “Hellp”
One day Alex will be remembered as one of America’s foremost songwriters, from his solo efforts to the songs and performances of his vastly underrated band, The Damnwells.  This slow number is heartbreaking in nature but hopeful in message.

Lykke Li – “No Rest For the Wicked”
Lykke released a breakup album this year in case anyone hasn’t noticed.  It maintains some of her Swedish pop sensibilities but at the same time sounds almost like church hymns.

Clipping – “Body and Blood”
This industrial hip hop group looks to be the second coming of Death Grips which is definitely not a bad thing.  If you find the video for this make sure you are aware it is very NSFW.

MKTO – “Classic”
Cheating a slight bit on this as it came out in 2013 technically, but it is only now getting radio play on a wide level.  From the opening line to the chorus which references many different pop artists, this is definitely the song I’d be singing to girls if I was in high school.

Nico and Vinz – “Am I Wrong’”
The main music on this song reminds me a bit of Message In a Bottle (is it a sample, I haven’t researched it yet?), this is another heavy radio rotation song right now but what I like the most about it other than the music and delivery going so well is the message of questioning oneself if you are doing right or wrong when you are doing what you feel.  To me it is a relationship song but it could also just be about life in general.

Future – “Honest”
Future really has been making some of the funnest rap songs these past few years.  This a pure bragging song but Future makes bragging sound so cool.  To me it is a sequel to another favorite of mine from a short bit back, ‘Ca$hin Out’.

Fever High – “That’s So Typical”
This song is bringing the 80’s back, so how come more of you aren’t listening to it!!!!?!?!?!?

Katy Perry – “Birthday”
The beat is fun, the verses are Sheila E/Pointer Sisters-esque, and there is one double entendre after another in the new Queen of Pop’s latest single.

Lone – “2 is 8”
I don’t usually like songs with little to no lyrics, but this song defines the word ‘jam’.

St. Vincent – “Digital Witness”
This song may have the best use of a horn section since I dunno, Chicago.  It hits you from the very first note and never lets up.

The War on Drugs – “Red Eyes”
Straight out American rock song here.  I’m thinking a direct descendent of Tom Petty mixed with the best parts of Kings of Leon with this one.

Saintseneca – “Happy Alone”
A song about loneliness that sounds happy, hard to pull off but very well done.  Verse 2 is perhaps my favorite lyrical moment of the year ”To presuppose this precipice / could be climbed by any one of us / that was my misjudgment / I guess I best just shut up and face that / I’ll be alone / happy alone”

Ingrid Michaelson – “Girls Chase Boys”
Girls chase boys chase girls chase boys…..and round and round it goes.

How to Dress Well – “Words I Don’t Remember”
This song is totally not my type, and maybe that is why I like it so much.  It has Maxwell Urban Hang Suite soul mixed with Prince-like lyrics (meaning that I’m not sure what they mean but they mean something profound), as well as a beat that is mesmerizing and climaxes to as satisfying an ending as I’ve heard in a while.

Posted in blog, freedom, music | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

…..let me die….

Posted by treygar on May 28, 2014

Let me die
Let me die in a field of bluebonnets
Wind blowing softly
Not too hot but definitely not cold
Let me die without an ounce of gold

Let me die
Before I get too old

Let me die dreaming of her
Dreaming of being nervous
Holding her hand
Trying to hold her hand
Hoping she’d comprehend
Let me for a moment be her man

Let me die
Taking one last chance

Let me die without having to say goodbye
To anyone
I’m sure many would agree
I’ve already said enough
Let my actions speak
For many weeks
After I’ve gone

Let me be remembered
And not forlorn

Let me die as if I was
In a song
Within a song
About a play
About a myth
About a boy and girl in love

Let all that is below
And all that is above
Leave me be

Let there be a moment where
I am not judged
A split second before
I’m taken away

Let me be free
Let me die

Let me be at one
With the flowers and the thoughts
And the dreams of what I’ve done
What I’ve become

Let me die

Posted in blog, freedom, poetry, relationships, snow is evil | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

……yeah yeah, since you’ve been gone…

Posted by treygar on May 4, 2014

Gotta have an intro song…..

On the celebration of my 20 years since graduating high school, and in going along with my song selections for this blog post, I’m writing this on a Saturday night.  Coincidentally, I am doing what I did during my high school years on Saturday nights and that is sit alone in my room reading comics, listening to Cure records, and crying myself to sleep wondering just what my life has become.

People put much on 20 year anniversaries, as well they should.  Two full decades gone, and while I missed the celebration it would serve well to at least speak about the passing of time.

I honestly don’t feel much about high school, as I was more or less a nobody, I know that many people confuse me with the starting quarterback type but I assure you that was not the case.  20 years later and I’m a nobody with debt, less hair, and a lame blog.  So, some progression.

Don’t get me wrong, the formative high school years were entertaining at times, and I made some great friends who have stuck around and kept in touch.  A few in specific kept me going with letters on my lonely seaward days where I was rocking mad bellbottoms for Uncle Sam.  I will forever be in their debt.

I left town quickly after high school though, so that need to reconnect with everyone didn’t get me any more excited than a late night soft core Cinemax movie would, so there’s that.

When you graduate you feel like king of the world, you have the loftiest goals in the world and 20 years later you wonder if you’ve succeeded in anything.

20 years ago I wanted to be a teacher/writer but I’ve learned since that I don’t like people enough to teach them on a consistent basis, and my writing is horrible and I’m pissed that none of y’all told me earlier.  Jerks.

The next thing you think of, or maybe the first thing, is how one has succeeded in the love department.  I always wanted to show up at my 20 year reunion with a model on each arm, laced in furs and diamonds.  And though I had every plans on doing so this year, one of the girls at the escort service got sick and couldn’t make it so I shelved the whole plan.  My travels into relationships have been well documented in vague/not vague poems and prose, and though I could speak for many years on the subject all I can rightfully say after all this time is that if it works out it works out if it doesn’t, it doesn’t, and thanks to all the ratchet girls who have made out with me from time to time I do appreciate it.

You learn a lot going through 20 years of answer searching.  Friends and family have come and gone.  The funerals seem to happen more frequently the older you get and you start to contemplate existence more than you should.  I guess I’ve always wanted to make a difference and I’m scared that my time is running out, so this in turn forces me to live faster than I need to, a quarter mile at a time.  Vin Diesel, you are to be blamed for everything.

You find out you are perhaps racing Keanu Reeves to the death in a James Dean moment, and you only hope the brakes work…..fade to song 2 of this program….

Alas, the days have led me from the suburban war that was La Porte, Texas to Orlando, Mississippi, Virginia, back to Houston, back to Virginia, San Antonio, Tulsa, and now in Pittsburgh for as long as I feel the need to be here….but at the same time I’ve always claimed La Porte as where I hail from.  Not just Houston, because Houston is so vast.  Spending those formative years in La Porte actually means something to me, and something that only I and those raised alongside me really understand much like I’m certain those who are from the evil kingdom that is known as Deer Park probably feel the same way.

I haven’t achieved all I’ve wanted to in those 20 years that have passed, mainly because I’ve yet to find a way to talk Marisa Tomei and Lucy Liu into joining me in a tub of banana yogurt.  I do digress…..

It isn’t about achievement though, I think that is what I learned more than anything.  We all live for different things, and being able to appreciate life is the important thing that finally hit me a few years back while I was consuming one too many shots of patron with some twins from Okmulgee…… That being said, tonight I’m going to dance on my own, but you’re all more than welcome to join, here’s to hoping for another 20 fellow Bulldogs…..

Posted in blog, freedom, music, random musings, relationships | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

….was it the careless dance, the reckless wandering??…

Posted by treygar on April 27, 2014

I’m only ages behind on my yearly movie list that only my friend Martika appreciates.  Or should I say, pays attention to as I upset her a few years back when I listed Machete as my best movie of the year.  There will be none of that this year.  Not going to do my standard ranking, just going to list my favorite movies, what movies are decent rentals, and which are just plain disasters….followed by my yearly awards.

Best of the best:  Stoker, Place Beyond the Pines, Purgatorium (indy suspense film I saw at a local arthouse), Upstream Color (perhaps the most mindblowing film of 2013), Fast and the Furious, Warm Bodies (good zombie movie in an age of over-zombiefication), Only God Forgives, The Spectacular Now, Instructions Not Included, We’re The Millers, Don Jon, The Attack, Enough Said, Hunger Games Catching Fire, Delivery Man, Thor the Dark World, 12 Years a Slave, Jobriath A.D. (glam rock documentary), Filmage (Descendants documentary), Saving Mr. Banks,  The Hobbit Desolation of Smaug, Wolf of Wall Street, Dallas Buyers Club, Nebraska, Her, and Philomena.

Feel free to rent:  Dead Man Down (I love Noomi Rapace, like serious love), the Great Gatsby,  Star Trek Into Darkness, the Lone Ranger (I sorta liked this one), White House Down,  You’re Next (fun horror flick), Morrissey 25 Live, Insidious Chapter 2, Two Guns, Escape Plan, Oldboy, the Conjuring, and Blue Jasmine.

Avoid at all costs:  Oz the Great and Powerful (disappointing), GI Joe Retaliation (sad that they ruined the GI Joe franchise), Tyler Perry’s Temptation (movies started out great then fell apart quickly), Iron Man 3, Room 237 (boring Shining documentary), Man of Steel, Jack the Giant Slayer, Despicable Me 2, Low Movie How to Stop Smoking (boring Low music video compilation), Pacific Rim, Riddick, Machete Kills (both Riddick and Machete ruined their franchises as well), Kevin Hart Let Me Explain, and the Counselor.

And now for my year end awards….envelopes please

Best Movie:  Her, narrowly beating out Instructions Not Included, Don Jon, The Attack, and Nebraska
Best Actor:  Eugenio Derbez, Instructions Not Included – very heartwarming portrayal of a man trying to be the best father he can be
Best Actress:  Scarlett Johansson’s voice, Her – a voice so seductive I wanted to date a computer operating system too
Best Supporting Actor:  Jared Leto, Dallas Buyers Club – one of the few times I agree with the majority of critics
Best Supporting Actress:  Brie Larson, Don Jon – without a doubt my favorite acting role of the year.  Her mannerisms throughout this highly underrated movie were amazing


So, as I have been here in Pittsburgh for a few weeks now things have been interesting.  The weather has been unkind and unpredictable.  Now that I’m out of school, I have much more time for disappointment than I’ve previously had.

Not sure if disappointment is the right word, maybe it is stagnant.  That’s a good word.  I haven’t really made any new friends here, whereas in other cities I’ve ravaged I’ve made friends much quicker.  My gimmick does not get over here, and I’m too stubborn to change it.

Was able to watch some TV shows so that has been fun.  True Detective was gripping television.  Homeland, Season 3 was a wild ride that ended not the way I thought it would.  Masters of Sex was just gratuitous with no heart.  House of Lies was ok, cheap laughs but not enough to keep me watching more.  Even saw season 1 of Walking Dead and will end up trying to catch up before too long.

The good thing is that two of the better shows on television are starting back up right now, Game of Thrones and Mad Men.  In other words, don’t even think about bugging me on a Sunday night.

Was also able to get some reading done, finished a few books and still have three on the ‘to read’ shelf to finish before getting more.  Also been able to read some comic books.  Loving the Elektra, Punisher, and Moon Knight reboots.  Going to give Justice League United a chance because it’s new and is heading towards a Hawkman/Lobo slugfest in issue 2.  Patiently awaiting the conclusion to Forever Evil, which was written by old friend Geoff Johns who keeps on proving he writes the best super hero books by far.

I remember the old days of comic book collecting.  Now, there were those who collected to just have stuff to brag about and me, someone who would read and reread the books over and over until they were in tatters.  I’m ok with that, for me it was losing myself into a story not trying to turn a dollar.  Some of my earliest memories is Secret Wars, that big crossover event in which the Beyonder got the heroes and villains together on a planet to duke it out.  Good stuff, fun.  I think the hard part now is trying to get into comics and being confused by all the different continuities and twelve different X-titles or Batman titles.

We make things harder than they need to be, I’ve learned.  As the lyric goes, ‘we should be whispering all the time’.


Was it the careless dance, the reckless wandering
That took you away from me?
Was it the fact that your groupie days are waning
They no longer play the songs
You want them to sing?
You die in those memories

It was a drunken game, the time you reached to me
I wanted to believe in you
I wanted to try something
Then you disappeared before it began
Before I could prove that I can

I die in those memories.

Posted in blog, freedom, music, poetry, random musings, relationships, snow is evil | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

….stolen away in a wasted land…

Posted by treygar on April 2, 2014

April is cruel
And so are you
I know my faults
You think you do
But I’m cut off
Like I’ve done wrong

I have……
Nothing at all

That similar song
That hope grown by late night attention
Was all your idea
It seemed genuine

It was…..
Nothing at all

I leave and not because
I want to
I leave because
I can’t find a home
I can’t find a reason to stay
Stolen away I pack again
I dream of better things

You’re gonna drive me crazy
Oh, you’ve done it now….

I can’t even confront you
I can’t even shun you
If you showed up
Looking like a washed up pin-up girl
And you do look like
A washed up pin-up girl
In the rain
Mascara all

I’d forget
I’d forgive

I’d live.

Posted in blog, freedom, music, poetry, random musings, relationships | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

…..36 songs of 2013….(posted very late)

Posted by treygar on March 12, 2014

I dunno, I feel that 2013 was a bit of an off year for music.  Very few albums as a whole got me interested.  Sure there were plenty of catchy singles here and there but I’m sadly wondering of the album is a lost art.  Kanye and Arcade Fire, who usually are spot on for creating complete albums, had releases that fell flat.  Overlooked were great acts from older artists such as Nine Inch Nails, David Bowie, and perhaps the most overlooked album of the year was Depeche Mode’s 2013 release Delta Machine.  Even The National fell flat, and though it is hard to follow up an album like High Violet, it feels like they didn’t even try.

That being said, here are my top 36 songs of 2013, because I couldn’t come up with an even 40, and that is sad.  One note, I had Foals and Tegan and Sara on my list last year as their singles were released, if I had waited until the album release then I’d have had 38 songs on this stupid list.

36. Ghostface Killah – Rise of the Ghostface Killah – glad to have some vintage Wu Tang released this year.  Really fun number and solid overall album.


35. Lana del Rey – Young and Beautiful – off The Great Gatsby soundtrack, maybe the best part of the whole movie honestly.  Getting to see Lana at Lollapalooza this year was an added treat.  This song is good as it asks the age old question of if love maintains at the same passion as one grows older.  The jury is still out for this blogger.

34.  Milk Music – I’ve Got a Wild Feeling – this is just a rocking song that will wake you up.  Put it on your gym mix and thank me later.


33.  Migos feat. Drake – Versace – is this song silly, yes.  But it is catchy as all get out and is all about the fashion excess that Lorde sings about in her boring song Royals.

32.  Pissed Jeans – Cathouse – another rocking little punk number.  In fact one thing I do like about recent music is that fast punky pop numbers are making a slight comeback.

31.  Low – Just Make it Stop – what, Low released an album this year.  Yep, and it seems everyone missed it.  They also released a movie of their music videos which is a fun watch.  This song nearly brings me to tears every time I hear it.

30.  Buke & Gase – Hiccup – this is just some great in your face indie rock with great female vocals.  Released early in the year so lost in the shuffle of many end of year lists.

29.  Dinosaur Jr. – Pierce the Morning Rain – released in late 2012 I’m cheating a bit but it didn’t get on my radar until early 2013 when the video was released so I’m including it, bite me.  This band is always guaranteed to throw out some classic jams on each of their albums and this is one of them.

28.  DJ Q feat Louise Williams – Trust Again – here’s some r&b/dance hall that should get you dancing, which is never a bad thing.

27.  Miley Cyrus – Wrecking Ball – such a great song I had to put it on my Christmas card.  Seriously though as good a heartwrenching little ballad as any, despite Miley’s constant attention seeking/controversy seeking moments.

26.  Rich Homie Quan – Type of Way – Another hip hop track that is just a fun one to roll down your windows to and drive slowly along the street.  The problem is I have an unattractive Corolla and no real strip to drive along.


25.  Vampire Weekend – Diane Young – took me awhile to get into this song, but it grew on me and I love the fun fast payoff at the end.  Band still gets on my nerves a bit though.

24.  Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Sacrilege – YYY’s also let me down this year with a subpar album and an even more subpar album cover.  This is a very solid track though and the video is brutal.

23.  Disclosure feat. Aluna George – White Noise – this song starts out how a dance song is supposed to, haunting beat that doesn’t leave your head until ten minutes after you’ve left the dance floor.  Of course, last time I was on the dance floor The Real McCoy had all the kids hopping so my frame of reference may be a bit off.

22.  Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds – Jubilee Street – I just like songs about street names but let’s be clear here folks, this song is good but doesn’t come close to comparing to Ocean Avenue.

21.  Chvrches – Recover – amazing little synch track.  Though I think the band has already reached overrated status, this song is very good and here’s to hoping this young band doesn’t get too saturated as time goes on.

20.  21 Pilots – Fake You Out – another band I got to see at Lollapalooza.  I actually enjoyed their album very much even if it is some weird sort of Eminem meets techno meets hipster rock mashup.  The band was very energetic and gracious live and will give you a show that is worth it.

19.  Deap Vally – Lies – back to back Lollapalooza bands on my list, and I got to meet these wonderful ladies who are the female answer to the Black Keys.  If you want just an in your face rock act, check this band out, even if they don’t know how to spell good.

18.  Charli XCX – You (ha ha ha) – LET THE BASS DROP!!

17.  Parquet Courts – Borrowed Time – great fun new band that is making rocking songs and getting all sorts of attention.

16.  Nine Inch Nails – Copy of A – a few different songs that I could’ve included from NIN’s release this year.  Hesitation Marks is a great album, but I think this song is the main favorite of mine from the album as it speaks to assimilation of sorts by everyone in society.  Other great tracks on the album are Came Back Haunted and Everything, even though no one liked Everything, I really enjoyed the track.

15.  Britney Spears – Perfume – I mean, Britney is still putting out fun tracks.  I like this one not just for the sexy video, but because it is of a girl leaving around her scent to get the new or other girl jealous.  Don’t say you’ve never done this ladies!

14.  The Julie Ruin – Oh Come On – This song has some cool Elastica type vibe to it.  You go riot grrrlls!


13.  Haim – The Wire – Got into this band late, this song, a complete musical rip off of The Eagles ‘Heartache Tonight’, but who cares.  The three singing sisters each provide a fun little story of a relationship that just didn’t work out.  It is refreshing and sexy at the same time.

12.  Iceage – Ecstasy – Best. Metal. Song. Of the Year.

11.  Arctic Monkeys – Do I Wanna Know? – Hard to put this song out of the top 10, but it just narrowly missed the cut.  Perhaps the best that AM have ever released honestly, and they’ve got a decent catalogue so it is really hard for me to rate it over Dancefloor, I put them neck and neck at this point.  I like this song, like many others on the list, for pure sex appeal and honesty.  Playing a song on repeat because a song reminds you of someone is just all too relative, and that is what the lyrics speak to.

10.  Depeche Mode – Slow – Depeche Mode quietly released one of the best albums of the year.  Nearly every song is solid, and I’m sad it wasn’t on more year end lists.  This song is just as erotic as all get out.  Gahan can still make the inner soul move.  This may be the best blues song recorded in 2013.

9.  New Politics – Harlem – This song has an infectious little dance beat, fun lyrics, and it was constantly in my head throughout the year.  Last comparable song I can think of is Metro Station’s classic song ‘Shake It’.  Yes, I think Metro Station is classic, I have issues.

8.  David Bowie – Valentine’s Day – Best Bowie album since Heathen was also released this year.  Loved quite a few songs on this one, with Valentine standing out by just a hair over The Next Day, and You Feel So Lonely You Could Die.  This song is almost 70’s glam Bowie and I think I just put on some makeup…..

7.  Kanye West – Bound 2 – As much as Kanye may get on everyone’s nerves, including mine, this song just jams it.  Kanye is hardly an innovator, but what he does is take three different samples on this song and combine them into some weird ego tripped old school r&b track with references to Fight Club, Forever 21 and one of the best TV shows of all time, aka Martin.

6.  Robin Thicke – Blurred Lines – best video ever?  Oh my.  At any rate, I’m the hottest bitch in this place.

5.  Lady Gaga – Sexxx Dreams – The only real standout track from Gaga’s disappointing Artpop album.  To be certain though, this song is amazing and of course the content will make it so it doesn’t get radio play, but it has already become a fan favorite.

4.  The National – This is the Last Time – I love the National.  Their 2013 release though, was a disappointment.  There were too many moments of brilliance mixed with horrible lyrics, often in the same song.  If they’d release a five song EP of the best moments it’d have gone over better.  I like this song as it speaks to someone putting someone on a pedestal, swearing that the abuse they receive is the last time.  Those in abusive relationships know, it is never the last time when you say it is.


3.  Cold War Kids – Miracle Mile – I have no clue how this song was lost off of nearly every list I read over for 2013.  The rocking piano to start the song, the genius lyrics ‘I was supposed to do great things’ ‘I’ll be all right, if I could just see you’ – make this the best Springsteen song never written by Springsteen. ‘Hold me again, don’t count mistakes, I’ve lost track of them’.

2.  Zedd – Clarity – I know what you’re thinking, a club dance track as the second best song of the year.  But yeah, this song has everything, good lyrics, good beat, good heartfelt message.  ‘If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?  If our love’s insanity, why are you my clarity?’  Don’t tell me you’ve never felt like that for anyone?

1.  Chance the Rapper – Juice – Rap tracks don’t usually hit me enough to warrant the top song of the year, but the delivery of this young rapper over a piano driven beat, and a simple one word yet extremely powerful chorus, just to me is the way music should be written.  Add in to that a dig at Kobe Bryant that makes me laugh every time I hear it, and a fun video, I can’t get enough of it.

Posted in blog, music | Tagged: | Leave a Comment »

….goodbye to Bromance…

Posted by treygar on February 10, 2014

Five years ago I took a transfer to Tulsa, wasn’t necessarily at the top of the list of locales I wanted to transfer to.  If I had my choice, I’d have gone to Thessaloniki, Greece, or Burgas, Bulgaria, or Yalta, Ukraine, or you know, anywhere but Tulsa.

Turned out to work out well for me professionally.  Though not the greatest city in the world, or even in the top 10, it has become one of if not my favorite place I have ever lived in my adult life.  Nothing will ever top growing up in Houston, so don’t get twisted.

You see, I think what put Tulsa apart from the other places I’ve lived, and I’ve been moving every 3-5 years since turning 18, is that for the first time in my life I actually gained that insane thing called ‘friends’.

Sure, I’ve had friends here and there that I’ve kept in contact with, but nothing like the group of friends I gained here.  In the Navy, you knew not to get attached, folks get transferred all the time, so you get used to goodbyes.  After that was my married life, where I was barely allowed to have friends, and honestly worked so much I had no time for them.

My San Antonio years were great, but I spent a good amount of my time there with family, which was great and all, and most of my friends were a 1-3 hour drive away outside of a few locals.

But in Tulsa, I actually made friends with people that I’d fight to the death for, which I know isn’t saying much as I’d never be confused for Mike Tyson, but still.  These friends became my family, and through it all, I became attached to this desolate town.

I’m not gonna lie, I was hoping I’d move here, find some Okie girl, and settle down.  I heard that Okie girls were the settling type.  I was thinking Seven Brides for Seven Brothers here….it just didn’t happen.  In fact, I may have had more heartache here since high school.  But that’s ok.  I don’t regret a thing outside of what is listed under the regrets section of my goodbye/love letter to the past five years of my life.

So below is my list of memories, thanks, regrets, and other random wanderings that I just don’t feel like leaving without saying, and I don’t have the money for a full page ad in the Tulsa World so this will have to do – as recently I made the decision to leave Tulsa for Pittsburgh, PA, for reasons both personally and professionally.  I hope you comprehend.

First off I want to thank four of the best friends I have ever had.  I’ll call them the Four Horseman.  Lee, Keith, Ray, and Paolo.

Ray is like the Nature Boy Ric Flair.  He is the most glamorous of the bunch.  Met Ray through a variety of ways, wrestling, roller derby, and trivia.  We have a lot in common as far as music and karaoke as well.  The thing about Ray is that no matter how big the group may be, he is able to make someone as socially awkward as me feel important.  He makes people comfortable in uncomfortable settings.  He’s also hilarious and full of one liners, even though it has led him to have heat with half of the population the Tulsa area.

Lee is Tully Blanchard, for no other reason than they have dark hair.  Lee was the first person I met in town at a Twitter event.  He is one of the most talented individuals I have ever met.  I was lucky enough to get to see Lee as he became a father, and he is probably the coolest dad out there.  Some of my best memories in town revolve around hanging out with Lee at wrestling events in concerts.  From meeting Wayne Coyne in a bar, to dancing all night at a Tegan and Sara concert, to us finally both being able to see The Pixies together, complete with singing Pixies songs at the Center of the Universe.

Paolo is Arn Anderson.  He is a brute force.  I’m just kidding, he is a teddy bear.  I met Paolo through college, we ended up in a group together and became brothers in short time.  Was able to go to Paolo’s wedding and recently got to see Paolo join the ranks of fatherhood.  Paolo has always been there as a voice of reason, and someone to bounce ideas off of.  He is smarter than he probably gives himself credit for, and throughout our college experience together no one came close to his presentation skills.  Like, not even in the same realm.  Hopefully Paolo and I can go to TNA wrestling events into our 60’s as we predicted at the last event we went to.

Keith is Paul Roma, by far and away the most underrated Horseman of all time, right?  Keith is the only man I have camped with.  Ok, I have already said too much.  Seriously though, Keith has been there for me to talk to and hang out with for a very long time now.  I met him through Lee, and though I hated to highjack Lee’s friends, we had too much in common to ignore.  Keith became one of my most trusted and closest friends, and it hurts me to leave him because Lee doesn’t watch football, which is one of the biggest travesties known to man let me tell you.  I sincerely hope to get back to Tulsa as many Memorial Day weekends as I possibly can so I can go to Rocklahoma with Keith.  Truly some of the best weekends of my life despite me striking out with all them wonderful high class girls that go to that event.  Who’s gonna drive you home now Keith?

There are a few other people/group of people I’d like to thank for their companionship:

Brad, for setting up the Twitter group in which I gained my first set of friends.  I met Lee at a Tweetup.  Brad told me of places around town to check out, hung out with me a few times, and has always been there when there was nothing else to do, he’d find something to do or me and him would just go somewhere and talk and have a blast.  Thanks for hosting all them Lost parties at your house bro.

The girls of Buffalo Wild Wings:  Candace, Brecken, Katelyn, Tara, Chelsea 1, Chelsea 2, Devon, Lyss, Haylie, Jackie, Shelbs, Sam, Brandy, Sami, Jen, Amber, Leslie, KT,  Nika, and a few others I am probably forgetting.  They were always there for my dumb fat drunk ass more than I can count.  I’m gonna miss the welcome environment I felt when I went to my favorite place where I can eat, drink, and watch sports.  Was even able to hang with some of them on a personal level, and each time I did we had a blast and created some very fun long lasting memories.  None of them ever took me up on my marriage proposals, but that is ok.  Actually, it’s not ok, most of them keep on dating losers that creep them at the bar.  What the hell girls?  KT, extra special thanks for taking care of me on my birthday.  Candace, Tara, and Katelyn – you know how much you mean to me I cannot put it justifiably in words.

Steel Rage Pro Wrestling, Compound Pro Wrestling, and Elote Wrestling.  Had fun at all the events thrown and even made friends with some of the wrestlers and personalities.  Robbie, Kyle, Iles, Sam, hell, I ended up even getting along with Burnham.  Favorite wrestling memory is probably when Mr. Endurance Sugar Shane Morbid straight called me and a few other guys out for cheering for the heel.

The wives of my friends who had to put up with me deserve a big shout out, Bri, Angela, and Brandie come to mind, thanks for letting me borrow your husbands.

The Taylor’s who always hosted High/Low parties at their house.  I won, very very rarely, but the fun part was that I would always lose in spectacular fashion.  I know I’ll see you guys soon because I’m going to Steel Town you weird Steeler fans you.

My college classmates:  Corey, Gail, Keith J, Leslie, Lisa, Scottie, Chad, Cecilio, Adam, Jeff, Bryan, Ivy, the master folder, Melissa, Ms. Vollmers, among others.  Among one of the things I am most proud of is getting both my Bachelor’s in Business and my Master’s in Business Administration while living here.  I could not have done it without each and every one of you.

My karaoke friends:  Melissa, the Westfalls, Angela, Rick Berry, and everyone who has come to see me sing, sang with me, or laughed at me as I tore the roof off the joint by singing Sara Bareilles songs and Backstreet Boys songs and T-Pain songs.  Karaoke taught me to be comfortable with myself.  I was able to conquer many of my public speaking fears by getting up in front of audiences and singing Toxic.

Christine Jude, CB, and the occasional Christine Jude trio.  My buddy Paolo tried to get me out one night by saying I should check out his friends band they are a cover band.  I’m not usually into cover bands.  He said they did 99 Luftballoons.  I told him we should leave immediately to check them out.  Christine has always been quick with a song dedication to me, and I’ve truly enjoyed going to see and hear your amazing performances.  Every time I took someone to see Christina they all enjoyed her and remarked how angelic her voice is.  The middle name is variety.  Just like daddy.

The Gypsy Coffee House.  It is perhaps one of the best places in all of Tulsa.  They have great service, food, coffee, tea, ambiance and hospitality.  Bradley really has built a great place where one can relax and do their homework or just type up blogs or just sit on a coach and enjoy the day.  Also, their open mic poetry night on Tuesday’s helped me with my public speaking fears as well.

Circle Cinema, man, this place is just amazing.  Was able to see great independent and foreign films there as well as classics that they’d play there like Jules et Jim, Rashoman, Black Orpheus, and Metropolis.  This place is a historical landmark and the cinema manager Greg always greeted me with a smile.  They once honored me by reaching out and asking if I’d volunteer there since I seemed like someone who really appreciated film.  I had to sadly decline due to work and school obligations.  If you haven’t seen a movie there, I ask that you support this local treasure.

RadioRadio – by far and away the best local band I got to see in Tulsa, who promptly broke up.  Thanks to Keith for getting me into them, but I met some great people along the way through them like Lourdes and Erika.  Is it the red light, that hides your eyes from me?  This band, they always put on a solid rocking new wave set.

Gold’s Gym and my Turbo Kick posse aka Team Bianca.  Thanks to my trainer Sean and the rest of the Gold’s staff Aaron and Eddie – I feel I learned important things about fitness and made some great friends along the way.  Turbo Kick was just an amazing experience, the non stop workout that Bianca put us through on Monday’s nights was both fun and brutal.  Thanks to Katie for getting me into Turbo and folks like Meghan for helping me keep hope alive in those classes of sheer painful intensity that I still haven’t quite figured out yet how I even survived.

Sylvie, the first concert I saw in town via Lee, and someone who I also bonded with through derby.  Sylvie writes and perform amazing original songs and I can’t thank her enough for playing my favorite tune every time I went out to see her.  Extra special thanks for making my dream come true by recording a duet with me, that being Fairtytale of New York.

Green Country Roller Girls, glad I could assist in some small fashion.  Made great friends in Miranda, Brass, Nancy, Sting, and Beth, among others.

The karaoke girl of my dreams that got up and sang Father Figure with me at Jameson’s Pub, wherever you may be, I thank you.

The list of friends I made here goes on and on, and I can write a paragraph on each of you, and I just may in the comments section.  Had so many great times with each of you and I want you all to know I truly appreciate it.

From seeing Tegan and Sara, the Pixies, Elvis Costello, the National, a Queen cover band, Fishbone, and even Blue October in concerts – to going to the movies to see the latest superhero movie or Don Jon.

From the New Year’s Eve parties to the birthday parties at the Colony.  From singing Meat Loaf with Becky on Valentine’s Day, to seeing Meat Loaf in concert on a Saturday night with Angie.

Tebowing on the field at TU football games with Robbie, Keith, Paolo, and Alec.

From the housewarming parties to the going away parties to the fight for your right to party, parties.

Trivia nights, bingo nights, fight nights, summer nights, and the ‘occasional’ strip club night.  Bubbles, where art thou?

There were a few regrets, to be sure.

–          Never had a date for the Tulsa State Fair
–          Hell, barely had any dates
–          Never had a date with Batgirl
–          Never went to Branson
–          Never went to Eureka Springs
–          Did not hook up with the girl from karaoke that sang I Touch Myself directly to me
–          Never held a girls hand as we walked through the rose garden at Woodward Park, aww, whatever
–          Never got beyond second base on New Year’s Eve, but not without drunkenly trying
–          Never had a date for Winterfest
–          Never dated one of the Tulsa Shock
–          Didn’t get VIP for Rocklahoma 2013 meaning I had to make one of the biggest walks of shame of my entire life
–          Never took a girl back to Camp Emo at Rocklahoma
–          Never drank Jager from a random stranger’s backpack at Rocklahoma….but someone we know did!
–          Missed both of Joan Jett’s concerts while I was in town
–          Never ran into Juliette Lewis when she was hanging in Tulsa
–          Never winning a jackpot at the River Spirit or Hard Rock casinos, dammit
–          Never taking organ lessons at the Magic Music Shop at Promenade Mall
–          Didn’t update my personal or wrestling blog as much as I’d have liked
–          Never hooking up with the girl that worked at The Nut Hut
–          Two words:  Float Trip.

Thank you Tulsa, thanks for the restless nights, the wildest dances, the quickest romances and the sideways glances.

Thank you for providing me a newfound energy that I thought I’d lost long ago to a bucktooth girl in Izmir, or was it a blonde on the French Riviera, I do forget.

Thank you for providing me shelter when I needed it, and raining on me when I needed the rain.

Thank you from the bottom of my wasted heart, my quiet mind, and my still life.

Posted in blog, freedom, music, relationships | Tagged: , , , , , | 1 Comment »


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.